QUIZ

Are you prepared?

Before discussing topics of sexuality with your pre-teen or teen, please take their ages into consideration. The questions and topics outlined below are geared toward discussion with children ages 10 or older, however, it is a good idea to start conversations about changes in your child's body early and continue the conversation throughout their lives. If you are uncomfortable addressing sex or sexuality, let your child know, more than likely they are also uncomfortable too. Let them know it is important to talk despite those feelings.

Here are questions and tips to prepare for a discussion with your pre-teen or teen about sex and sexuality.

Do you have a clear understanding of your own beliefs and values concerning sex?

Having a clear idea of what you believe will make it easier to explain it to your teen. For example:

1. Do you believe that sex should be saved for marriage?
2. Do you believe that two partners should be in a committed relationship before having sex?
3. How did your life change when you became sexually active?
4. What did you like/dislike about how your parents handled the "sex talk?"
5. What do you know now, that you wish you would have known then?
6. See Values Exercise

Have you ever talked to your pre-teen/teen about dating and other relationships?

1. Setting dating guidelines and expectations will make the transition into dating easier for you and your teen. A starting point would be to discuss with your teen the following:
2. What does having a boyfriend/girlfriend mean to you?
3. What do you think are reasonable rules for dating? Group/single dates, locations, curfews?

Have you discussed how your pre-teen/teen views sex and/or relationships?

1. By understanding where your teen stands on sex related issues, it is easier to discuss the important decisions they may face. Some questions to ask might include:
2. Are you aware of physical and emotional changes expected during puberty?
3. What do you consider a serious relationship?
4. Do you think that males and females view sex differently?
5. What if your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to go further than kissing? How would you handle it?
6. Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation?

Are kids in your pre-teen/teen's class, or any of their friends, sexually active?

1. Ask your child about their friends and peers. Determining what your child's friends are doing could help explain the pressures, attitudes, and expectations he or she has concerning sex. This would also be a great way to open the doors of communication with your teen.

Does your pre-teen/teen understand the consequences of having sex?

1. Talking to your pre-teen/teen about the risks and changes involved in having intercourse is another way to stress the importance of the situation. Discuss the following topics with your pre-teen/teen:
2. What are your goals for the future? (College, sports, career, family)
3. What do you know about how babies are conceived and born?
4. What do you think a good living environment for a baby would be?
5. How much do you think a baby costs? (Delivery, doctors appointments, food/clothing, diapers, daycare, school)
6. Do you understand what HIV/AIDS and STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections) are?
7. Do you know where to go to find information on reproductive health services and sexually transmitted infections?

Do you know how your pre-teen/teen reacts to peer-pressure?

1. Discussing and/or acting out stressful situations may make it easier for your teen to stand up for themselves when faced with peer pressure. Talk about:
2. Situations where he or she may be alone with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
3. Times where he or she may feel pressured (i.e. parties)
4. Situations where he or she may need to come to you for advice or help.
5. Online/internet use and the dangers of sexual predators.

Do you know where to go to find information on reproductive health services and sexually transmitted infections?

1. It also is ok to not have the answer. The important part is to answer their questions honestly.
2. Researching the information and facts available will help answer questions you or your teen may have. It is better to have accurate information for your pre-teen/teen, and if you don't have the answer, a good way to open the doors of communication is to look for the answer together.

Remember that abstinence can always be practiced. If you discover that your pre-teen/teen has been sexually active, let them know that they can always abstain from those activities and that it is the best way to prevent teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.

For more information about talking to your teen, go to: www.teenpregnancy.org.